Lions & Tigers & Bears...OH MY!

As much as I think I am resolved to be a working mom, I still struggle with a certain level of guilt. This guilt manifests itself in several ways, most notably in my frequent attempts to pack a lot of great memories into a relatively short amount of time. I get so excited to do fun things with Jacob, I really want him to get to do all the things I loved growing up. I grew up in a very spontaneous household and we spent a lot of weekends doing fun and often very inexpensive things like going camping, going to parks, art & music festivals, community events etc. On weekends, we scanned a copy of the Austin Chronicle to see what was going on, grabbed a few cans of generic soda (grape Shasta anyone?) and headed out for the day. All of this is an attempt to explain why, in a moment of nostalgia & spontaneity, I decided it would be super fun to take Jacob and Bella to the zoo on Tuesday. By myself.

So we get there and pay & get our map($10 for adults, $5 for kids over 2, babies under 2 are free) & find a shady table for our picnic, Jacob eats his apple and then throws away the core. We head to the washroom & then decide to see the monkeys. We pass the trashcan with the apple and out of nowhere Jacob decides he wants his apple back. Not even the lure of monkeys or lions or elephants can get this child away from the trashcan. He clings to the metal trash can and bawls. At this point I am still fresh and full of that good-mother-taking-her-kid-to-the-zoo feeling so I squat beside the trashcan and we have a serious heart to heart about how things that go into the trash are gone forever. Jacob makes this sad suck it up kind of face and goes "Okaaaay Mommy" only you can tell it really isn't and we finally make it over to the primate section.

At the baboons, we meet Little Georgie and his mom. Jacob and Georgie have a blast falling down on purpose and watching the baboons while Little Georgie's Mom and I have one of those aren't our kids cute and isn't this fun type conversations. So all the way through the primate section, Jacob and Georgie have a great time and everything is fantastic. Turns out they are at the end of their day so we are about to part ways and Little Georgie wants to give Jacob a hug. Jacob just looks at him like - "Dude. Just because we hung out at the zoo for a few minutes doesn't mean we're best friends or anything" and I have one of those parenting quandaries because here is Little Georgie crying and chasing Jacob with his arms outstretched and do I force Jacob to hug him or let it be or what. Finally, we compromise on a rather lackluster high-five. Jacob seems sort of relieved to get away.

I pull out the map to see where the elephants are but Jacob grabs it from me and it tears in half. I manage to get it back and while I'm trying to align the two sides together Jacob decides to push the stroller. He starts going really fast so I run after him and he goes even faster and right when he sees I am about to catch up with him he launches the stroller and and it tumbles end over end down a flight of stairs. I have never seen a Graco travel system fly before. If it hadn't been my kid, and my stroller and my keys, video camera and wallet flying all over the place, I might possibly have laughed. As crashes go it was pretty spectacular. (I should say at this point that Bella was NOT in the stroller, she was in the sling). But since it was my kid, my stroller, keys, video camera and wallet - I was mostly mad. Jacob even scared himself I think, he had this look like "whoa, I so did not mean that to happen" on his face. We decided to both take a time out and we put the stroller back together and hung out looking at the giant goldfish in the reflecting pond. You can see how tranquil and nice it is. That pond has been there for over thirty years, I sincerely doubt it has ever seen as much action as it did on Tuesday.

We had highs and lows all day. I learned that you just have to be really and truly patient if you take a 3 year old to the zoo. Their legs are short and they get tired. They will want to ride the carousel a lot and you will spend all your cash just to see the pure bliss on their face when they ride that lion around and around. When you finally say "no more" they will fall to the ground and cry for ten minutes. All the other parents will stare at you and you will ignore them. But then the storm will clear and you can just sit in the golden sunlight of a glorious fall afternoon and nurse your baby and watch your kid play on the play scape. You will try to ignore the fact that you have driven for an hour and paid $15 dollars so that they can play on a playscape that is nearly identical to the one 6 blocks from your house. They will throw their sippy cup into the bushes and wet their pants. They will ask "Are you mad because I peed on your shoes? " a whole bunch of times and you will get a little less mad each time they ask until by the end of the day whenever he asks you both just collapse into giggles.

So that was our day at the zoo. Last night, it was Halloween and Jacob was a bear. He wasn't sure at first if he wanted to wear his costume or go trick or treating but once he saw other kids coming to the door he was ready to go. He was SO cute in his costume. I was so proud of him, he is sometimes kind of shy or doesn't want to do or say the things everyone wants him to say or do (i.e Hugging random kids at the zoo). But last night, he was full of joy and confidence, running from one house to the next, we'd wait back with the grown ups and he'd go up and ring the bell and say trick or treat and thank you just like a big kid; I was really proud of him! At one point he suddenly stops and sits on the curb and we say "Jacob are you OK? What's wrong baby?" and he says "I'm OK, I just need to stop and eat some candy!" It was too funny!