Kindness

Women are preoccupied with kindness, and generally speaking – that’s a great thing! We think about being kind to others and teaching our children to be kind and we also spend a lot of time thinking about if others are being kind to us. 

What about being kind to yourself?

I am not talking about the prevalent world view that is all about telling women that they need “me time” or that “you deserve a break”, you NEED a pedicure, you NEED a new blouse, you DESERVE whatever. Funny how the media (even on Christian radio) selling this message is  usually trying to get you to buy something!

Now, I love a good coffee night with the girl’s as much as anyone and I do believe in resting and getting still and quiet on a regular basis. But when I say “be kind to yourself” I mean practicing discipline and self control in the present, as a gift of kindness to yourself later.

1. Decide not to wear shoes in the house, so you spend less time cleaning floors (or staring at dirty ones!)
2. If your kids can walk – they can pick up their own toys, it’s your job to teach them to do it.  In our house, there are no bedtime stories until all the toys are put away.
3. Take a few minutes before bed to load the dishwasher, clean your sinks and counters, set up the coffee maker, start a load of laundry, set our clothes for tomorrow – anything that makes your tomorrow a little easier.
4. When you mess up your kitchen, make it worthwhile by cooking two or three or more meals at a time.
5. Yes, technique matters, and there are faster better ways to do almost everything. But at some point you have to stop  researching and start working. Do you spend 30 minutes surfing the net for organizational tips instead of actually cleaning something? (I know I’m guilty of that one!)
6. Your future self doesn’t need perfectionism.  Magazines and websites and TV all give us a false idea of how things should be. The reality is that those are all sets – with fake lighting in fake houses, and unlimited budgets, you probably can’t really live like that. Heck, even the lady in the magazine doesn’t even really live like that. And that need for perfectionism either paralyzes us or thwarts our budget.  I can’t organize my closets because I don’t have special shelves, I can’t clean my hall closet because I need folding cloth bins in bright colors with labels etc., I can’t organize my spices because I need special jars, the list goes on…when in truth a diaper box or some index cards or old spaghetti sauce jars would serve the purpose.

I always say there’s two kinds of “broke”.  There’s broke and a pile of debt and bills and then there’s broke but with a pantry and freezer full of food and every bill paid. Trust me one is better than the other! It is the same thing with the view from the couch – there’s relaxing with chaos all around you and then there’s relaxing with all the work done, and one of those is better than the other too!

At times I really struggle, come Saturday I want to play and lounge around and not do much, but I know I’ll sure regret it come Sunday night and I won’t have much holiness on my Sabbath, that’s for sure! So I encourage everyone (myself most of all!) to be kind today to your future self by working a little harder and so that you can rest and play and really enjoy yourself!

“Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.”

1 John 3:18